Episode 0006 - Houses And The People That Own Them

Even without an impending hurricane, Saturdays at the bank were breezy, light shifts for Melinda. With fifteen minutes left on the clock, she’d sent the other tellers home and had already begun counting the till and pulling together paperwork. Darren was in the vault with the district manager. Outside the glass frontage of the bank, Melinda watched a moment as a garbage can rolled by and  dumped its contents into the gusty wind. She doubted the bank would be open the next day and was looking forward to a lazy day at home. She’d had her fill of the Fontaine’s and the Deveraux’s for the week. She briefly considered whether she should be ushering her family North to escape the storm while she watched the Jewelers across the street nail boards across their windows. She shook it off. If they fled every time the “experts” warned of a hurricane, they’d live in Canada. 

Melinda began to hurry through closing tasks and was so engrossed in the process that she failed to notice the old woman decked in sequins and fur, a little dog tucked under her arm, approaching the door. When the door opened it seemed to suck all the air out of the room. Dottie half stumbled in, followed by what must have been a dozen food wrappers and god knows what else, and pulled the door shut using her weight as leverage. Melinda’s attempt at  not rolling her eyes was a failure.

The old lady looked like she’d just waddled off a roller coaster. Her hair was a bluish puff, one of her eyelashes was peeling in the corner and that jacket had seen better days. The dog was probably asleep but Melinda had to wonder whether it was dead and this crackpot was just oblivious. The potentially dead dog’s Mistress approached the counter and carefully unfolded several pieces of paper.

“I’m Mrs…” The old lady began. Melinda could see Samantha Deveraux standing directly in front of the lobby windows, hair whipping in the wind, blatantly flirting with the young bartender that worked next door to the bank. Those damned… “Deveraux.”

Melinda stared blankly at the stranger in front of her. 

“Mrs. Deveraux?” she asked.

“Oh yes, dear. Mrs. Deveraux. That’s what I just said.” The old woman’s eyes narrowed, zeroing into Melinda as if searching for something. “I understand that this storm is causing absolute havoc with the barometric pressure. I’ve just come from a lengthy Transatlantic flight and I couldn’t hear a thing for the first hour. It wasn’t until my second vodka soda that my ears finally cleared. Perhaps you could use one yourself, Mrs. Allen, you look a little tense and it’s always possible that you’ve gone deaf?”

Melinda’s throat clicked. Wait, did she just say…

“Oh, I know! Mrs. Allen I believe you’re probably wondering about the OTHER Mrs. Deveraux. The Dead Mrs. Deveraux. The one your Husband worked for. My dearly departed  brother, like many men, suffered from the unfortunate embarrassment of a flaccid will and a robust libido. Why he chose to marry that woman into the Deveraux family goes against all reasonable judgment. She was the Mrs. Deveraux who borrowed many of my things.” Dottie tapped a gloved finger against the counter.

Darren walked into the bank lobby, bid the District Manager a fine afternoon and locked the door behind him. Sam didn’t seem to notice as she was busy emptying a red solo cup down her throat in the wind.

“How may I help you, Mrs. Deveraux?” Melinda gained her composure, noticing Darren milling around the lobby.

“Well, Mrs. Allen, I think we’ll be helping each other today. You will find the account numbers for two of my mortgages on the papers I’ve just provided to you. In addition, you will find the information for a wire transfer that I made this morning. The transfer will cover all balances and fees related to the total satisfaction of both of those debts.”

What she was asking was a rather lengthy process and the bank had just closed. Melinda looked to Darren to intervene. Instead, he smiled, looked at Melinda and said “Of course, Mrs. Deveraux. Melinda would be happy to process those transactions for you today.”

“Thank you, Darren! So nice to see you by the way.” She smiled at Darren and turned back to Melinda with the biggest shit eating grin Melinda could recall. “Now, Mrs. Allen.”

Melinda entered the first account number. The address for the property startled her. Even more so the account owner.

“That’s right, Mrs. Allen. My brother’s wife was a guest in MY home. Perhaps you should look at the next address as well before we proceed?” Dottie’s grin widened.

Melinda entered the next account number. She started to panic. It was her house! The mortgage had been settled with the Dead Mrs. Deveraux’s passing. What the…

“Mrs. Allen, let me explain. When my brother’s wife’s trust attempted to settle your mortgage, I decided to acquire the debt instead. Unfortunately the attorney involved in these matters…isn’t the sharpest pencil. I do not believe in indentured servants, Mrs. Allen and when I learned of the details of the Dead Mrs. Deveraux’s will, I couldn’t allow things to proceed as she had hoped. The woman had many hopes and this was by far not the first of those to go up in smoke. So, today your mortgage is truly paid, but the property is owned by me. You may continue to live there for free for as long as you’d like.” Dottie winked at her with her loose lash. She winked at her. The demented old bitch really just winked at her.

“Mrs. Deveraux, I don’t know what all of this is about, but it isn’t appropriate to discuss this here. You should be speaking to my husband. And you should know that I’ll be talking to an attorney. I don’t think you can just go around buying people’s houses out from under them. It doesn’t matter what your name is.” Melinda shook, her composure began to melt into rage.

“Mrs. Allen, you do that! You should speak to an attorney! Maybe they could recommend a good divorce attorney? I know your husband has been a ‘good provider’ for you but I just couldn’t stand the thought of an honest man being trapped in the impossible dilemma of weighing the duty to one’s own family against interminable bondage. He’d lose his honesty and his character and would hardly be suitable to so much as breathe any longer. So, he no longer has a job with us Mrs. Allen. I’m sure he will be greatly relieved.”

Melinda’s resolve uncoiled and she sprung upward, failing to completely scale the counter.

“You fucking bitch!” She shrieked. Dottie jumped backward as Darren bolted for Melinda. He grabbed Melinda by the shoulders and said sternly “Melinda collect your things and I’ll escort you out. Don’t make me phone the authorities.”

“Fuck my things, Darren, I don’t want any of this.” Melinda said, grabbing her purse and jacket. “Just unlock the door and let me the Hell out of here.” Melinda walked toward the door and pivoted on her heels, facing the other two. Everything about her was in flames. Hair, eyes, fury.

“And for the record, you can both kiss my a…”

There was an incredible “bang”. Samantha Deveraux’s body hurtled through a blizzard of glass onto the floor of  lobby followed by the sound of squealing tires in the hammering rain...